A man goes into a pub. He moves to the bar and waits to be served. The landlady appears, a stunning full figured hostess with a beaming smile.
"What can I get you love?" she asks. The man hesitates for a second then blurts out " I wanna fuck your tits!"
The Landlady is aghast. But before she can say anything the man apologises and informs here he has tourettes and cant help himself, and asks for a pint.
The landlady gets his pint and says "Tourettes or not I don't tolerate that language."
The man nods sheepishly and drinks his pint in silence. Whe his glass is empty the landlady comes over and asks if he wants another pint. The man hesitates with a tortured expression on his face then blurts out " I wann rip off your panties, bend you over and ride your ass like a champion jockey!"
The landlady is mortified and distressed and after much apologising from the man gives him a pint with the warning that this is his last warning. Any more rudeness and she'll call her husband down to sort him out.
Invariably the man sups his pint and tries to order another.. this time out blurts " Im gonna fill your c*nt with guiness and down it in one"
The woman runs up stairs in tears. Her hulking great beefcake of a husband calms her down and asks what the problem is and whats upset her...
She tells him "This obnoxious man... first he told me he wants to fuck my tits...." The husband goes purple with rage, " then he said he wants to rip off my panties, bend me over and ride my ass like a champion jockey."
The husband gets his baseball bat and says "we'll fuckin see about that!! What did he say then before I splatter his head over the bar...."
She tells him.. "He's gonna fill my c*nt with guiness and down it in one."
The husband puts the bat back in the cupboard, sits back down and puts the telly on. "What are you doing!" cries the landlady. The husband looks up and says.
" If you think im messing with a bloke that can down 12 pints of guinness your having a laugh.... "
