A man sat in the confessional and spoke to the priest "Forgive me father, for i have sinned. Its been 2 days since my last confession"
The priest mumbled "take your time my son"
The man began "Well Father, I've been having carnal knowledge with a married woman in the village"
The priest asked "Was it Martha Flannery?"
"No" said the man
"Was it Josephine O'Connor?" asked the priest
"No" said the man
"Well was it Sinead MacGuire?" the priest persisted
"Nope" said the man
"Very well" said the priest "Say 5 Hail Mary's and dont do it anymore"
As the man left the confession his friend looked concerned and asked "What did the priest give you?"
"5 Hail Mary's and 3 fuckin fantastic tips"
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